Friday, 19 October 2007

Glenrossie Glen Gary

A booth in a chinese restaurant. PINTER and MAMET are seated.

MAMET: All I'm saying is... I'm saying... Look, OK, I grant you, look, I'm not saying it's shit, no, far from it, it's clearly not shit, but it's got these moments... these points where everyone's waiting... these fucking pauses [he waits for a response. After a long time...] These..
PINTER: Lacunae?
MAMET: Yeah, you've fucking got it, fucking nailed it in one. These fucking lacunae [he pronounces the final syllable to rhyme with hay, as has PINTER] in the fucking action. Because these 24-carat ocean-going Pentium processor bastards wouldn't know a play if it came right on up here and bit them on the ass. [beat] Or would you say... [we are waiting for him to say arse, but instead he says] lacunae [he pronounces the final syllable to rhyme with high]?
PINTER: Fuck off, you cunt.
MAMET: That's right, that's so right, and I'll tell you for why in a minute, because it's all about what I've learned here today... I tell you, they think they learn, the Baldwins, the Dafoes, the Hackmans, the Mantegnas, the Bolams, the Pryces, the Lemmons... they know absolutely 100 per cent of a steak-knife-winning competition of fuck all, don't you think, Harold?
Enter STOPPARD
MAMET: Of course I wasn't talking about you, Tom. Everyone knows how good your stuff is, don't they Harold?
[PINTER remains silent]
MAMET: Look, I can turn this thing around. I'm a salesman, for Chrissake. I love to be ignored. I'm just saying that Laguna Lakes has this fucking huge potential... There's this guy who has to do a heist, even though he ought to have retired. I'm thinking we can blackmail Eddie Izzard into the role, because he was in the Cryptogram, but he turns the tables on them...