How late it was, the Giro

Aw fuck aye. Nay fucking bother, ye ken. People are aye telling ye this stuff, all this fucking stuff they're aye telling ye, Ah'm telling ye, I cant be fucking daying with them telling ye it. I mean jesus christ. I'm done being telt. I mean for fucks sake and that but. Like people who fucking tell ye to use fucking capitals for our lords name. Or apostrophes. Aye well thats the fucking problem. Theyre no the Glesca Balzac, are they. I mean, I fucking ask you.
Its awful quiet but. Except in ma fucking head. It wasnay the bevy, christ no. Ahm no saying Ive no had too much of the yellow stuff, fair enough but, fay time to time. Aye, fair dos but. But I come ben the room and I can hardly fucking move. Poeaxed is the word but.
Got a fag?
Get yer own fucking fags. How can ye day anything at all what with the violence inherent in the system.
Fucks sake I could do with a fag.
Will you fucking shut up? You dont like to say it but christ almighty hes never fucking stopped since he came out the Bar-L.
What did I come ben here for anyhow? Ach, its gone. What was I going to say? Fuck ahve forgot; that's the fucking problem, isnt it. Maggie fucking Thatcher. It disnay fucking day, not at all.
Whats the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney? Bing sings and Walt Disnay.
Man walks into a bakers. Is that a doughnut in the winday or a meringue?
Naw, says the baker. Yer right enough. Its a doughnut.
Ach fuck but. Where wiz I?
You mean politically?
Ah wiz just getting to the Caledonian antisyzygy. Give us a fucking chance eh? Pass us ma lighter but; christ almighty I could day wi a drink.